In her thick bottle-cap glasses and wild hair pulled up in a neat ponytail, Inspector Sherley Moles, from the department of Chemical investigations, didn't look like much. However, all you had to do was wait for her to speak and energy would shimmer across the room. Her hair seemed to bounce from the sheer volume of knowledge in her brain and she became so conspicuous her prim jackets could have morphed into Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
In any case, it didn't matter what she looked like. She would have been an impeccable, refined detective in a lab coat or an elephant onesie. That was because Sherley Moles really cared about people. Her community, her friends and she did everything in her power to keep them safe.
She sat, in her small office with an un-proportionately wide window that looked over a drab parking lot on a cloudy but pleasant Tuesday Dublin afternoon.
That day, a new case landed on her desk.
The molecule was dropped onto her white, fake wooden workspace with a soft and definite thump. It came from Dr. Mufty. A slim, tall man with a thick handlebar mustache. "Wull ye look intae this Sherely" he guffawed in his Scottish twang before shuffling off to be buried in more papers.
This one was called Molecule P: As always, she had a description, background and synthesis and many many question marks. There was one hazard already on the molecule's file. SKIN CORROSIVE AT 100%.
It was now being accused of being harmful for the environment. It had been caught in a compromising situation, along with other molecules, following an algae problem in the Dublin Liffey. Molecule P in specific was a suspect, due to an odd functional group and questionable partition coefficient.
So the dance began. Inspector Moles was one of the best. She knew how to hunt for information in any corner. She dug through data on testing that had been done on animals. She was well aware of the moral complexity of testing on another living being, unfortunately those were hard choices. Weighing the value of human or animal life, was by no means easy. That was why she did everything she could to avoid new tests. Thus, when it came to animal data she would look for historical information first. Then, if she could, she compared this to the new data coming from tests done in petri dishes in the lab. She called up colleagues and connections to build a mapping of what she knew. It wasn't enough, she needed more information.
"MMm..." she thought. As if speaking to Molecule P. So, you are "corrosive to skin" are you? She thought to herself. Let's see who gave you that classification.
Finding the source of information was easy. Instead, discovering who was using Molecule P was a little harder, but it was no match for Inspector Moles.
The gentleman who answered the phone was called Mr. Ian Dustry and he'd been using Molecule P for some time. "Indeed mam, we know about the skin corrosivity" he reassured her. "This is why we always use gloves, or otherwise mix it with water."
Inspector Moles nodded. Gloves were a good solution. Diluting the molecule in water was too. In was like acetic acid. When it was concentrated, it was also corrosive to skin. However, when mixed with water below 4%, it was lovely with salt on chips. It became household vinegar.
She asked him about the environmental concerns. He seemed surprised. He had some interesting information to tell her.
"What you are saying bewilders me", he explained. "You see, Molecule P couldn't cause issues to the environment. When it get's into water after a while it biodegrades. That means, it breaks down into water and carbon dioxide. It can't do any damage then."
Inspector Moles pondered over this statement. She decided to look into it further.
Inspector Moles asked for the advice of fellow colleagues, brainstorming with them and sharing all her research. She reviewed and revisited all the work she had done. In the end she made her decision.
Based on the data, Mr. Ian Dustry seemed correct. Molecule P wasn't responsible for any environmental concerns. It had been spotted in the Liffey at the wrong time and would have eventually broken down. She thus considered it clear of charges.
The only point on it's record was it's corrosivity to skin. However, that could be managed, with gloves or dilution.
She put the Molecule P dossier into one of her drawers.
"You're ok" she whispered to it.
There was other work to do.
You can look up more, as always.
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